Never Again... Rwanda Genocide Memorial

I am sitting in Rwanda on Xmas day. Over the last 3 days I have been visiting the Kigali Genocide memorial, talking to survivors, and just taking it all in. I knew that hindsight wouldn’t adequately portray that overwhelming moment when I first made my way through the memorial, so I took a moment to sit and write. This is what came out…

I’m in a room full of bones and skulls collected from mass graves, with the names of victims being read in a thick French accent over the speaker above. The lights are dim, almost too dark to write this, but I cant risk forgetting this moment. Standing in front of the bones, I felt my bones and my muscles begin to ache. My first thought was that I must be getting sick, out of habit really, but realized quickly that my body was reacting to this moment, to this tragedy. It’s hard not to feel this with every part of my being.
I’m rotating between feelings of sadness, despair, anger, disgust, empathy, vengeance, motivation… I could go on all day with the changing faces of my emotional state. While listening to the stories, the hardest parts were the memories of the kind moments that were experienced before losing everything. Final meals, parent’s sacrifices, kindness from strangers - that on many occasions led to their own deaths. Those are the stories that move my heart the most. Those moments of love in the face of cruelty.
I am also filled with this feeling of guilt that weighs heavely on me. Guilt that the world didn’t come to help. Guilt that I feel so much anger towards the people who didn’t come, knowing it was going to happen, and those that made this happen. Guilt that I am trying to feel better, when I wasn’t the one who went through it. I want to hide my reaction, feeling as if I don’t have the right to be this upset in front of survivors. I know it may not be rational to feel guilt for empathy, but it’s where I am right now. It’s part of the moment I’m faced with.
The voice continues to name victims with no repeat. There is more to see, and I need to keep on…

Arise

On Wednesday I am invited to watch a college graduation. The moments we imagine separate “us” from “them” get smaller and smaller the longer I immerse myself into this world. It’s easy to find differences, but if you’re fortunate enough to have moments like this, you will bask in the similarities, and find ways to feel part of something familiar. The College is called Nairobits, and it teaches students how to get from never having used a computer to web design. And it’s incredible.

The student whose graduation I’m going to created this: http://kiberahamlets.org/html/about_us.html

The website is actually for a group of youth that we auditioned the other week for theatre outreach. They are beautiful and so talented. Here are some pictures of their audition…

Some of the incredible dancers. The girl on the left, who cant be more than 9 years old, ran the show. It was so powerful...

The youth, reenacting the post election violence.

The POK group performing for a girl's group. By the end, there were over 50 spectators in this tiny space.

I’ll end with these words from one performance I got to see. I hope you enjoy…

“Can’t we take it easy,
Mamma Africa
Smile for the children’s sake, smile to give children hope
Smile to help make youth cope with their lives
Smile to stop women’s weep…
Let them not be the victims of all unjust situations
But make them peace builders in this nation
Because this is the time for them to achieve all their dreams
Can’t you do this for the children’s sake…

Arise you African hope
Arise you African youth
Arise and make the difference
Arise and not be coward
Cause this is the time
You have the steam
Are you ready?
Are you steady?
Arise”
P.O.K. (Pillars of Kibera)